Children Are Troublesome
by djghostwriter18
Summary: A series of one-shots set after Troublesome. Enjoy.
1. Call Me Daddy!

**Author's Note: **Okay, so I've been thinking about doing this for a long time now and I finally have it. This story is going to be a series of one-shots that happened after the events in Troublesome. I have another set of one-shots that will occur before Troublesome, but I won't post that for a while. And for those of you waiting on Naruto Makaze, it should be up in a week or so. Anyway, on with the story!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto and I probably never will... Though one can hope...

* * *

**Children are Troublesome**

_**Call Me Daddy!**_

When one speaks of "that day" many things come into play. Some refers to "that day" as the day Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara fought which resulted in the Valley of the End. Others think of the night of Kurama's attack and the Yondaime Hokage, Namikaze Minato, sealing the demonic chakra into his son. And many of the Konoha residents think of the day where one bored blond, his then redhead girlfriend, and a certain dango-loving tokubetsu jonin unmasked one Hatake Kakashi in the middle of the streets. However, for six men, "that day" meant the day that their wives beat the living shit out of them for _running_. Yes, the crime committed before they ran was bad, but _running_ _for safety_ is what caused their injuries.

And it had been a little over three years since that day…

Currently, one Uzumaki Tayuya fed her son, Uzumaki Takado, his breakfast. Takado, already two, had his father's blond hair color, though it was in a style much like his mother's, just shorter due to age. He also had his mother's brown eyes, yet, in the shape of his father's.

"You eat like your father." Tayuya, now twenty-six, said to her son. The blond just gave his mother a smile, causing a smile to creep onto her face. "But you're twice as adorable."

"Carefuly Tayu-chan, lest someone hears you use the word 'adorable.'" Tayuya smiled, turning so her gaze landed on her knuckleheaded husband. The resemblance he shared with his father was now uncanny, despite Tsunade informing them that Naruto was an inch or two taller than Minato and a bit more toned.

Tayuya liked that.

"So… What are you doing here? I thought the hag had some last Hokage preliminaries for you to complete?" Naruto shrugged at his wife's words.

"I got the day off." Naruto stated moving towards his son and wife. "Alright tadpole, today you're finally going to call me daddy."

Tayuya smirked. Takado could say "mama" and even "mommy" as if the word had been inscribed on him from day one and he knew just who to call that. At first, Naruto thought that Takado was just another mama's boy and let it slide. But now Naruto thought completely different as Takado could say things such as: Baa-chan, Zu-nee (for Shizune), and Ten (for Tenten). Yet the kid would not just say one simple word: Daddy.

"Daddy." Naruto said pointing at himself.

Takado obviously found this as hilarious as Tayuya as he began laughing in his chair, a frown marring Naruto's face.

"Brat…" Naruto huffed causing Tayuya to quickly elbow him, not caring where her elbow landed. That is until she heard a high-pitch whine behind her and saw the "Prophecy Child" cupping his "prophecy makers". "Why Tayuya…?"

Tayuya huffed, Takado finishing eating the food Tayuya had given him.

"You shouldn't force him Sh… Naruto." Tayuya said, careful of what to say around their son. "If he doesn't want to say 'daddy' then let it go." Tayuya then glared at the injured jonin. "Or else."

Skillfully speaking, Naruto could take Tayuya and has so during spars that nearly got out of control. Yet, at home it was always a different scenario. Tayuya _owned_ him behind closed doors and that was a statement he would not challenge unless she had a mission outside of the village.

Women were so damn scary…

Picking himself up slowly, Naruto watched Tayuya set Takado on the floor, the small blond running through the house on chubby legs.

"It's not fair… Shikari says 'daddy' whenever she sees Shikamaru." Naruto complained.

Tayuya glared at him. "Shikari is also born from a clan of geniuses."

"Hey, I'll have you know that the Uzumaki Clan is far smarter than any other clan. We developed seals that changed the world." Naruto stated. "In fact, without us, there'd practically be no fuinjutsu or any other advancement like that."

"_Right_," Tayuya said rolling her eyes. "I just married the idiot out of the bunch."

"I'm sure I could say 'dad' or at least 'dada' at his age." Naruto muttered.

"What was that?" Naruto frowned, angrier about his son's stubbornness than afraid of his wife at the moment.

"Why is it that he can call _everyone else_ but me? I spend the most time with him!" Naruto said throwing his hands in the air.

"I don't know? Maybe because he knows you're a dumb Shithead who only cares for himself!" Tayuya snapped back.

"You weren't saying that when I found you under that tree. All that, 'You're too nice' and 'Real shinobi think of themselves' crap." Naruto said. "I just want him to call me. Heck, I'd settle for Naruto!"

"Forget it Shithead, you're just going to have to live with I'm the better parent and you're the fall guy." Tayuya said. "And that's that."

Naruto huffed, hearing a similar thing from Shikamaru and Temari. Shikari adored her father more than her mother for some odd reason. Maybe it was the hair color? Shikari and Takado did not like blonds. That would make sense seeing as Takado only went to Tsunade when neither parent was in the room and that was using her as a last resort.

A small pair of hands on his pants legs made Naruto look down at his son. Seeing his tiny arms reach up to his father, Naruto smiled.

"I knew I was the better parent." Naruto said bending to raise his son up. "Don't worry Takado, I don't hold it against you that you don't want to say-"

"Shithead!" Takado said happily while looking at Naruto.

Naruto and Tayuya both paled at their son's new word before Tayuya burst into laughter. Naruto dropped his head in defeat as his son laughed with his mother.

"You so asked for that one!" Tayuya laughed.

"Why won't you say 'daddy'?" a crushed Naruto asked as his son and wife laughed.


	2. A Rocky Morning

**Children are Troublesome**

_**A Rocky Morning**_

Sakura gave a moan of pleasure as she snuggled into her husband more, his arms securely around her. Today was going to be a great day, she knew it. The sun let in a warm golden glow, she had a day off from work, and her husband, Rock Lee, had gotten his former sensei to look after the dojo to spend time with his wife.

"MOM!"

… And Kids…

Sakura groaned at the sound of her daughter's protest. Rock Haruna was by far one of the loudest children in the village, and that was including Naruto's, Ino's, _and_ Kiba's children. At the time, Haruna and her twin brother, Leo, were six, a year younger than Naruto and Tayuya's son, Takado.

"Mom! Dad! Leo is doing the Byakugan!"

Sakura's opened slowly as she sat up in her pink tee-shirt. She looked at Haruna to see the dark-pink haired girl staring at her with emerald eyes of excitement. The smaller pinkette wore a large pink tee-shirt that stopped a little below her knees, her hair cascading to the middle of her back in an unkempt fashion.

"Haruna, Leo cannot do the Byakugan." Sakura said pointedly.

"That's what I said! But he did it!" Haruna responded. "Come on! Come and see it!"

"Lee… Lee… LEE!" Sakura said waking her husband. When he finally opened his eyes, she pointed to Haruna. "Listen to your daughter."

"Dad! Leo unlocked the Byakugan!" Haruna shouted. "Come on! Get up!"

Lee blinked as his mind attempted to make sense on what was happening. Here was his wife, whom had just gave him one of the best "nighttime of youth" sessions in a while telling him to listen to their daughter. Then there was Haruna who just proclaimed that Leo unlocked the Byakugan.

Lee hummed as he pieced these two together. Sakura's strange fire of passion and lust last night was a bit bizarre, but now that Haruna had stated that Leo had unlocked the Byakugan, everything began to make sense.

"Curse you Neji!" Lee proclaimed to the heavens and he held a fist in the air.

Haruna tilted her head to the side. "Nani…?"

Sakura also had the same confused expression until it dawned on her what Lee must have been thinking about. She sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Lee… Leo is your son. It is impossible for him to do the Byakugan." the pink-haired medic said with an annoyed vein now apparent on her forehead.

Lee calmed down a bit. "Sorry Sakura-chan…" Lee then looked back at Haruna. "Come on Haruna-chan. Take me to see your brother's, er, Byakugan."

Haruna nodded as Lee got out of bed, wearing his green pajama pants and a white shirt. He followed the small, excited pinkette around to the backyard, his shoulder slumped in exhaustion. With a yawn, he eyed his son, Leo, who was also buzzing with excitement.

"Dad! I have unlocked the Byakugan!" Leo proclaimed loudly. "We will no longer need to worry about the Hyuga defenses as I can do them!"

"Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy…" Lee repeated as his eyes drooped.

"Here I go! Byakugan!" Leo called.

Lee tiredly gazed as his son rolled his eyes to the back of his head, the organs bulging out of his head a bit.

"See?" Haruna said.

"Haruna-chan that is not-"

"Eight Trigrams: Sixteen Head-butts!" Leo called running towards his dad.

"What is- GAAH!" Lee's cry of pain came from Leo's head coming at an extremely fast pace to the first thing in its line of destruction, his groin. And now just one time. No, he repeated this action fifteen more times. Lee attempted to curl into a fetal position, but his torso, arms, and face were soon beaten by his son's power head shots.

Hearing his screams of agony, Sakura rushed outside to see Leo stumble about, swirls in his eyes, Lee on the ground clutching his family jewels, and Haruna with her mouth slightly agape.

"That… Was… AWESOME!" Haruna said. Sakura blinked in confusion as Haruna pranced about. "Leo-nii defeated Dad with the Byakugan, cha!"

Leo shook his head. "I did…? I mean, yosh, I have defeated my father using my treasured Byakugan!"

Sakura sighed. She hated being the realistic one in the family because she normally crushed a lot of hopes and dreams. Still, her children needed to hear this.

"Leo-kun, Haruna-chan, neither of you can use the Byakugan. It is a trait only found in Hyuga descendants." Sakura informed them, mentally adding the Mist Nin, Ao. "I am sorry, but it is impossible for you to learn it."

"But he did! I saw him Mom!" Haruna countered before pointing at the down Lee. "How else do you explain _that_?"

Sakura's face scrunched into a thoughtful frown. Lee was one of the strongest shinobi of the Hidden Leaf. There really was no logical explanation on how a six-year-old boy defeated Lee. But, here was Lee, lying on the ground defeated with Leo grinning in a fashion similar to her former teammate, Naruto.

"Because he's been training and that is the affects of hard work." Sakura finally said.

Haruna frowned in thought, resembling Sakura's former facial expression. She then smiled at her mother.

"Then I shall train like Dad!" Haruna announced. Sakura sweat-dropped at this, knowing full well what Lee's training regime was. "And like Dad, I'm going to take a lap around the village!"

"Haruna-"

"Yosh! I will join you!" Leo called before the two dashed off.

Sakura sighed as she prepared to go stop her children from killing themselves. Konoha was no small village and nearly impossible for two of such age to run a circuit around without stopping for breaks. Then she heard Lee's whimper.

"My… Balls…" the taijutsu master cried in a high-pitched voice. "His… Head…"

As angry as Sakura was at Lee at the moment for using such lingo (she would prefer him to say "pride" or "jewels" in fear that her children would pick up such wording), she soon realized what happened. Leo head-butted her husband in the, well, balls.

Sakura began to giggle behind a hand before the giggle erupted to a full-grown laugh.

"I… I can't believe you! You're one of the fastest ninja in Konoha and you couldn't dodge that!" Sakura laughed.

Lee wanted to glare at his lovable wife, but he could not. Leo's head-shot was dead on point. Hell, he would not be surprised if he was bleeding!

Feeling pity, Sakura knelt beside Lee and rolled him onto his back.

"Let me heal you." she said while smiling amusingly at the scene. Lee slowly removed his hands and relaxed his legs as Sakura held her glowing green hands above the wounded area. "There you go. That should feel better."

"The Eight Trigrams Sixteen Head-butts is a most powerful move." Lee said to Sakura. "I shall learn a way to counter it or be defeated by my own son again."

"Let's just pray he didn't break anything." Sakura giggled. With the pain subsiding, Lee glared at Sakura, causing her to laugh. "I'm sorry! It's just so funny!"

After Sakura finished her laugh and healing her husband, Lee rose to his feet, still a bit sore.

"Now that you're up, go get your kids while I fix breakfast." Sakura said rising. Lee looked like he was going to protest before he saw the tick on Sakura's forehead and quickly limped away. Sakura only smiled before heading back into the house. "And Mom says I should've married Naruto."


	3. Anything for Kanon

**Children are Troublesome**

**Anything for Kanon**

Inuzuka Karin hummed lightly as she set a rather large plate of food in front of Kiba. Kiba was about to happily dig into his breakfast before a chill went down his spine. Turning his head, he saw Karin glaring at him.

"Wait for the kids." she said sternly.

Kiba sighed heavily before resting an elbow on the table and resting his chin on his palm. His oldest child, his son Shikon, was a week away from his sixth birthday and was the definition of the word hyper. Behind Shikon was his daughter Kanon who was three. And like her older brother, Kanon had the tendency to explore and tamper with things that she didn't understand.

"Daddy!" Kiba's eyes went to his daughter's as she happily ran into the kitchen, holding something in front of her. "Kitty!"

Kiba's eyes widened. His daughter had brought a _cat_ into his house?! That was blasphemy! Hell, if his mom got whiff of this…

"Aw, it's cute." Karin cooed, rubbing the feline's head.

"Cute?! It's a damn cat!" Kiba shouted.

Karin's red eyes snapped towards Kiba. It wasn't his reaction, it was his words. Ever since Takado learned a new word from Tayuya, Karin had been strict about what people could and could not say around her children.

"It's a _darn_ cat and so what?" Karin stated.

"It's a cat!" Karin sighed heavily. She wondered why she ever got involved with such a biased man and his biased clan.

"Daddy hate kitty…?" the saddened tone in Kanon's voice made Kiba look at the small redhead, her brown eyes behind square glasses watering up.

"Kiba…" Karin growled.

"Okay! Okay," Kiba said before sighing. "Daddy l-li…" Kiba paused. "Daddy doesn't hate that cat."

"Kitty." corrected Karin.

"Kitty. Daddy doesn't hate that kitty." Kanon's smile seemed to be the perfect consolidation prize until the girl held the kitten out towards Kiba.

"Pet her!" Kanon said cheerfully.

Kiba paused. There was no way in Kami's name that he would debase himself by petting a cat in his house. It was one thing seeing cats at the vets' office. It's a whole different story when they were at his house.

"Um… I can't." Kanon's saddened face returned. "I don't want to get my hands dirty before breakfast."

"Aw…" the girl said downhearted again.

Kanon switched her gaze up towards her mother's, who was fuming at Kiba's stubbornness at the moment.

"Inuzuka Kiba," Kiba looked up at Karin as well. "Pet. The. Cat!"

Kiba knew when he was beat. Karin would only complain about it, bringing his mom and sister into it. And then he would be sleeping in the kennels or worse. So, the dog-user raised a shaky hand and held it over the kitten's head. Softly and timidly, Kiba rubbed the kitten's head.

"Th-there…" he stammered.

It burned. It severely burned for him to rub this creature's head in his house while he was the alpha male of a _dog_ clan. But he would do anything for his daughter. Even humiliating himself like he was now.

"Meow…" Kiba's heart began to warm up. And not in the loving way either. This damn thing was taunting him! He would strangle it if Karin and Kanon were not here.

"Alright," Kiba said removing his hand. "Let's take the kitty outside so we can eat."

"'kay!" Kanon said happily, running for the door.

Kiba glared at Karin, something she knew was coming. In his mind, and only in his mind, did he actually shout at her. He knew that once he raised his voice, she would go to his sister, who would go to his mom. Escaping doom from those three was nearly impossible. So he took a _softer _approach.

"You just _had_ to make me pet the damn cat." Kiba said.

Karin smiled. "She likes the cat and I'm glad you pet it." Karin's smile turned into a sultrier look as she leaned in and kissed Kiba. "I'll let you pet my _cat_ later."

Kiba actually blushed and Karin moved away in time for his son, five-years-old Shikon, to enter the kitchen and hop into a chair.

"I'm hungry!" Shikon exclaimed.

Karin, despite hating her son (and daughter) shouting in the house, only smiled while rubbing Shikon's spiky dark brown hair.

"We'll eat when your sister returns from releasing her new friend." Shikon's face showed how much he hated the idea of waiting and he huffed.

Fortunately Kanon did return quickly, though this time she was carrying something that caused Kiba to stare in disbelief.

"Look Mommy!" Kanon said. "I found a snake!"

Karin looked at the rather large green snake and promptly fainted with thoughts of her daughter becoming anything like Anko, or worse Orochimaru. Shikon muttered "Cool" under his breath before he began eating without his mother and sister at the table while Kiba just watched the scene unfold.

"Mommy doesn't like the snake?" Kanon said, eyes watering like before.

"Oh yeah," Kiba said with a perverted smirk. "Mommy just _loves_ snakes, don't you dear?"

* * *

Outside of Kiba's home, one Uzumaki Naruto stood with his son, both of them laughing with mirth.

"And that's how you prank dog-breath and Karin." Naruto said to Takado. "So, are you ready to take on Shikamaru and Shikari?"

"Yeah!" Takado cheered.

"Come on." Naruto said before using his father's signature technique to leave the area before Kiba realized who was giving Kanon these stray animals.


End file.
